Posts Tagged ‘humor’

My 100th Blog Post!! There should be an award for this!

100th Post!!

I’ve been dying to post the 100th entry to my blog but I’ve been so busy that my creativity has taken a leave of absence. Sometimes things don’t happen as you plan but that doesn’t mean that things aren’t happening exactly as they’re meant to happen. Where there’s a will there’s a way so please enjoy the attached video of one of my spoken word performances in celebration of my 100th post. Whoo-hoo!

The Revolution Ain’t on Blu-Ray is one of the first pieces I ever wrote and performed. I was afraid that my knees would wobble and my voice would crack under the pressure. But alas, I embraced the spotlight shining in my face and I haven’t looked back. When I listen to this piece it reminds me of why I even started this journey in the first place. There is still work to do, changes to make, and goals to achieve. Don’t be fooled by what you see or by what you’ve been conditioned to believe and accept. Dig deeper!

Poets Rock!!

Thanks for reading!

Please click on the link below to view the video on my YouTube Channel (meko1908)…

The Revolution Ain't on Blu-Ray – Spoken Word


Introducing Nyla Ray!!

Nyla Ray asks... What Should I Do With My Hair

Hello All!  Happy 4th day of the New Year!  Nope, there is no flash fiction this week.  Sorry  🙂   A new year means new beginnings right, so I wanted to share another project I’ve been working on for a few months that’s finally coming together.  It’s’ official, my first children’s book is close to completion!  Whoo-hoo!  I didn’t set out to write children’s books but believers understand that it’s our duty to do what the Lord tells us to do.  So anyway, here I am, staring at a cute little cartoon character with kinky-curly hair all day.  I won’t bore you with all the details yet, I just wanted to show you one of the draft pages.  So be on the look out for Nyla’s birthday party and the “What Should I Do With My Hair” picture book this spring.

Thanks a bunch!


“Eye Water to Cry With” – Flash Fiction Series, The End: Crystal Clear

Whew!  It’s the last Chapter of “Eye Water to Cry With”!  I’m so glad I didn’t stick to my normal 300 word flash fiction or this story wouldn’t have been complete until May 2012  LOL!  I had lots of fun writing this series, especially piecing all the info together at the very last minute  🙂  I hope you enjoyed it too.  I will post some discussion questions and a poll tomorrow so please take part in those.  Thanks for the support!  Enjoy!!!



Crystal Clear

Jonas walked inside the Plaza Towers and wondered if he had said too much about Ashley Williams.  Mya looked like she’d lost her best friend when he told her that Ashley had an office in 219.  He knew Mya was still outside sitting in her car but he couldn’t stop to ask her what was wrong.  When his truck broke down he was thrown off schedule and now he was in a hurry.  As hard as it was, Jonas breathed in deeply to ease Mya from his mind and took the elevator to the Medical Center on the left side of the Plaza Towers.  He rubbed his knuckles and the meaty crease between his thumb and forefinger.   He had been inside the Medical Center several times before but he felt extremely nervous and anxious this time.  He stepped out of the elevator and stood in front of The Nouveau Clinic.  It smelled of old secrets and new beginnings.  He hoped it would be the last time he had to see the inside of that place.  He hoped today was the first day of the rest of his life.

Mya sat in her car with the air conditioner on full blast.  Her temper raged and her heartbeat thumped inside her ears.  Nothing made sense to her, but at the same time, everything was starting to make sense.  She grabbed the last bottle of wine from the backseat and turned it up to her lips.  Wine trickled down her chin and spilled onto the collar of her wool coat.   With her eyes closed and breath held, she tried to drink as much as she could in one gulp.  She finished a third of the bottle and flashed a confident grin like she had the strength of Popeye.

“I’m going to march myself up to 219 and demand to know what’s going on.  If I’m going to jail I need to hear why straight from the jackass’s mouth.”

Mya grabbed her bag and took one last swig of wine.  She didn’t want her courage to fade before she reached the building.  Once inside, she noticed that the décor of the Plaza Towers was very plush and over the top.  Exactly the kind of thing Harold had grown to like since they met in college.  Mya couldn’t tell if she felt woozy because of the wine or from the glare of the gazillion crystals hanging from the ceiling.  Before she and Harold started dating she was a struggling college student alone in the world.  No mother, no father, no family at all.  The only crystal she was familiar with started with a “K” and was open late on weekends.  Now she was in an elevator preparing to confront the man who had brought her into his family and promised to give her the world.

The elevator stopped with a jolt.  Mya fanned her coat trying to get rid of the smell from the spilled wine.   She pulled out her compact and checked her face.  Satisfied with her appearance, she walked off the elevator and opened the mahogany door to 219.  There was a small stretch of hallway in front of her.  Plaques and photos from Ashley Williams & Associates lined the cream colored walls.  No photos were bigger than that of Ashley herself.  Mya caught a glimpse of Harold through the glass doors at the end of the hallway.  He quickly went inside another door about six feet behind the receptionist.   Mya froze.  She hadn’t thought about what she was going to say to Harold.  She didn’t want to burst in with accusations when she didn’t know the full story.  She tried to calm her nerves with a few deep breaths.

“Maybe the relationship could be saved”, Mya thought.  “Maybe this is all a big misunderstanding and I can go back to my nice life with my nice car and spacious apartment and flirt with Jonas on Thursdays.”

Convinced that everything would work out fine she walked through the double doors and decided to talk calmly, rationally, and lovingly to Harold.  After all, he was her fiancé.

“Welcome to Ashley Williams & Associates.  Can I help you?”  The receptionist looked at Mya and flashed a store bought smile.

“Hi, I just need to speak with Harold.  It’s urgent.”

“Sorry, but we don’t have a Harold working here.”

“Umm, my bad, it’s Mr. Woody.  I just saw him walk through that door.”  Mya pointed to make sure the receptionist knew exactly which door she was referring to.

“Ma’am, I’m sorry but you must be mistaken.”

Mya’s voice grew louder.  “Look, I don’t have time for this.  You need to get Harold out here right now.”

“Lady, unless you’re buying a house I’m not trying to hear anything you have to say.  Now, if that’s all I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

Mya was a little tipsy but certainly not blind.  She knew Harold was in there.  What was the receptionist trying to hide?  Mya tried to remember the happy feeling she had while in the hallway but it wasn’t working.  “I’m not leaving until I see Harold.” Mya rolled her neck and screamed at the top of her lungs, “Harold, Harold!”

“Hey, this is a place of business!”

Mya stormed past the receptionist.

“I’m calling the police!”

Mya rushed into what looked to be an apartment.  There were wall-to-wall hardwood floors, more opulent crystal like in the lobby area and a black piano in the middle of the living room.  It was noticeably bigger and fancier than her apartment.  She heard the shower running and walked toward the sound.  The giggles began to drown out the water.  Mya reached the bathroom.  The door was wide open.  She clutched her bag but didn’t make a sound.  She just stood there and watched her fiancé kiss another woman.  Both were wrapped in white robes. Both were unaware of her presence, but only for a moment.

“Mya!  Wait, um, what are you doing here?”  Harold’s eyes grew wider than silver dollars when he saw Mya standing in the doorway.

“What am I doing here?  What am I doing here?”

Mya lunged wildly at Harold.  Her fists pounded his chest as he fell to his knees and braced for cover.  Ashley could only retreat to the corner of the bathroom, too scared to move any farther.  Mya unleashed her wine induced fury on Harold.  She punched him for every lie he told, every date he broke and every night he went missing.  She punched him for not keeping the most important promise of all, to love her forever, until her fists hurt.

“I hate you, I don’t need you, and I don’t want you!”

Mya frantically reached inside her bag.

Harold watched the determination in her eyes as she searched.  He had never seen her so angry.  “Mya, please don’t do this!”  He begged like he was pleading for his life.

Mya was so nervous her hands shook and she could barely hold on to the bag.  The hot steam from the shower combined with the wine was affecting her balance.

“She means nothing to me, Mya.

Mya wiped the sweat from her forehead.  “I could kill you right now.

“Baby, let’s talk about this.”

Mya pulled the stack of IRS papers from her bag and threw them in Harold’s face.  Relieved it was just paper, his jaw loosened.

Mya wanted to cry but no tears came.  “I believed in you, Harold.  I believed in you and you betrayed me.”  She started to back away.

“Honey, who is that?”  Ashley managed to whimper from the corner.

“Who am I?”  All  165 lbs of Mya’s weight pulsated through the palm of her hand and  then across the left side of Ashley’s face.  “I was his fiancé – Honey.”

Harold just sat there staring at the papers.  His face was whiter than the robe he was wearing.  Mya knew her real problems were just beginning seconds before the police stormed in.  The receptionist came running in after them.

“That’s her right there, officers.”  She pointed directly at Mya.

“Mya Monroe, you’re under arrest for embezzlement and fraud.  Please come with us.”  An officer cuffed her hands behind her back.

“Harold Woody, Ashley Williams, you’re also under arrest for embezzlement, fraud, and tax evasion.  Stand up and come with us please.  We’ll let you get dressed before going downtown.”

“Wait, what’s going on?”  The receptionist was frantic. “No, I called the police on her.”

An officer flashed his FBI badge.  “Ma’am this office is shut down.  You’re gonna have to get your things and vacate the premises.”

One by one, Mya, Harold, and Ashley were escorted downstairs through the mob of onlookers.  The blue and red lights from the police cars shined through the glass doors and bounced off the crystal chandeliers like disco balls.  Mya tried to shield her face from the TV cameras and the bystanders.  Her drunken courage had gone but she felt no fear while sitting in the police car.  The ride to the police station was quick but no less hectic.  News stations occupied every inch of available space to get a glimpse of Harold being taken inside the jail.  Mya would have thought it was funny if she had not been going inside with him.  She was booked and put into a cell until her morning arraignment.  At 10:30 sharp she stood before the judge with a lawyer she had never met.   It all went so fast.

“Ms. Monroe, do you understand the charges against you”, the judge asked.

“Yes, sir, but I don’t agree with…”

“I didn’t ask if you agreed, only if you understood.”

“Yes, sir”, Mya mumbled.

“Good, then bail is set at $250,000.”

“Your Honor, we are prepared to make bail immediately.”

Mya looked at the lawyer.  “I thought he said my assets were frozen.”

“They are, but Mr. Harlem’s isn’t.  He’s the one who hired me for you.”

“Mr. Harlem?”

“Of Harlem Wines.  As soon as he posts bail they will bring you back downstairs.”

Mya couldn’t believe that Jonas had convinced his boss to post her bail and hire an attorney.  She didn’t know how she would thank him or ever repay Mr. Harlem for his kindness.  After posting bail Mya was brought back downstairs.  The only people she saw were the attorney and Jonas.  Even after all the craziness of the day, with her life in turmoil and out of control, she still thought Jonas was the sexiest thing alive.  She had to keep from running towards him.

“Hi”, she said to Jonas.

The attorney shook Jonas’s hand before walking away.  “I’ll be in touch soon, Mr. Harlem.”

Mya’s head turned so fast she could have gotten whiplash.  “Mr. Harlem?  Wait, I don’t understand.  Are you his son?

“No, I am the Mr. Harlem.”

“You made me believe that you were just a truck driver.  Is this some Coming to America type stuff?”

“No, I’m just a man with a past trying to have a future.”

“But you’re freaking Jonas Harlem of Harlem Wines! Why would you keep that a secret?”

Jonas looked at his hands.  There was no trace of who he used to be.  “I wasn’t ready until now.”

“You know I can never pay you back.  Everything I have is tied to Woody Enterprises.  The attorney said I can easily win my case but in the end I’ll only have my freedom.”

“I’m not worried about the money.”

“So why do it?  Why risk bailing me out?”

Jonas pulled Mya close to him and squeezed her tightly.  He breathed in the scent of his wine on her collar.

“Because tomorrow’s Saturday.  The risk of not seeing you was greater,” he whispered.

“Eye Water to Cry With” – Flash Fiction Series, Chapter 4: Whine or Wine…

Please read Chapters 1 thru 3 if you are just beginning to follow the series.  This chapter is definitely longer than the others but I think you guys can handle it.  🙂 Thanks!



Whine or Wine...

After some convincing, Jonas slid into the passenger seat of Mya’s Benz.  She could sense his uneasiness.  A pool of sweat formed on his bald head even though they were experiencing one of the coldest days in January.  Mya tried to spark a tension breaking conversation during the fifteen-minute ride to Plaza Towers.


“I’ve been meaning to tell you that Harlem Wine is very good”, Mya said with a smile.


“Thank you.  We definitely take pride in it.”


“I’ve heard Lindsey’s customers rave about the variety of flavors.  Of course the exclusivity of those who can afford to buy a bottle makes it even more intriguing.  Your boss, the owner, must be extremely excited about its success.”


“Well, I don’t think he can label it as successful yet judging by the raggedy company truck we just left smoking on side of the road.”


They both laughed and Jonas relaxed deeper into his seat.


“He’s very happy with the prospects for the future though”, Jonas continued.  He wished he could tell someone exactly how excited the boss really was but he had to wait.  “The company is actually looking to pick up an additional account with the restaurant and bar at Plaza Towers soon.”


“Oh, so that’s why he’s going to Plaza Towers”, Mya thought.  “He’s probably mapping out his new route.”


As they made small talk Mya realized that Jonas was much smarter than she assumed the average truck driver would be.  She tried to adjust the car’s heat setting but accidentally turned on the air conditioner.  A cold blast of air blew through her locs and chilled her face.  Jonas watched her like a little kid with a crush.  His eyes bounced and glowed, content at admiring the specs of gold that danced around her cheekbones.  Mya paid no attention to his stares as she secured her honey brown locs back behind her ear and pressed down on the fan control before they froze to death.  She was still getting used to her new $75,000 gift from Harold.  She knew it was a bribe, sort of like hush money, but she accepted it anyway because her Accord had gone to Honda heaven a couple of months earlier.  Every time Mya made plans to talk to Harold a present would show up at the door instead of him.  She couldn’t recall when the tide had shifted in their relationship or when she had begun to be comforted with trips and cars instead of the kisses Harold gave her back in college just for being thick hipped and juicy lipped.  Since then he had changed and so had she.   His mother, Ms. Lindsey, the glue of the family had passed away.  His father, still mourning, turned over a considerable portion of the business to Harold.  And Harold had become a permanent fixture in Atlanta’s in-crowd.


The past year had been a significant strain on their relationship but the last few days had almost driven Mya crazy.  She was suspicious, she was spying and she was openly flirting with a mysterious delivery truck driver who kept his hands in his pockets.  Sure, with him she could have a man who was home by 6, coached pee-wee football, made tacos on Thursdays and drove a beat up truck to work but she knew her future was with Harold no matter how dysfunctional that future was.  Jonas could never give her the things that Harold promised.  Promises that Mya was having a hard time clinging to after digesting the news she’d recently gotten from Lisa.  Lisa was an old college roommate who worked for the IRS.  She gave Mya a heads up on an impending investigation of Woody Enterprises.


“Girl, I don’t know what’s going on but you need to be prepared because these papers have your name all over them.  I’m faxing them now but you didn’t get them from me okay?”


At first, Mya was confused by what Lisa had faxed.  She thumbed through the papers not believing any of it but after paying closer attention to Harold’s latest monthly expenditures she knew something was wrong.  She had gotten out of the habit of fact checking and scrutinizing everything because she was dealing with Harold, the love of her life.  According to Lisa’s fax, the IRS and FBI were investigating Woody Enterprises for tax evasion and fraud and they were also looking into Harold’s assets.   Most notably a 1.2 million dollar loft and office space listed as 219 Plaza Towers, Atlanta, Georgia.  The purchase was deducted as a business expense; a purchase that Mya knew nothing about even though all of its financial transactions contained her signature.  After more digging she found that Ashley Williams & Associates – Accounting and Realty, brokered the purchase of the space.  Mya didn’t know her personally but billboards all over Atlanta advertised her as Ashley “#1 Realtor” Williams.  She was the kind of accountant whose promotional pictures looked like they belonged in Glamour magazine, not Homes Today.  Mya wasn’t sure why Harold needed Ashley at all.  She and an attorney could have easily handled that business transaction.  Unconsciously, Mya sat up straighter and held in her stomach as she turned into Plaza Towers.


“I really do appreciate the ride.  I’ll check on the tow truck after I finish handling some business.”


“You do a lot of stuff for a delivery guy.”  Mya replied even though she didn’t’ know how long Jonas had been talking or what he had been talking about.


“When you work with a small company you have to wear many hats.  Trust me, I don’t mind.”


Mya was still a little distracted with her thoughts.  She purposely avoided the front of the Plaza Towers so she could drive through the parking lot and look for Harold’s SUV.  She saw it as plain as day parked next to a silver Lexus with a tacky Ashley Williams Realty magnet planted on the side.


Jonas moaned with disappointment.  “Damn, I forgot about the wine for Ms. Williams.  I’ve been trying to convince her to purchase bottles of Harlem Wine for her company anniversary party this year.   I promised I’d bring some sample bottles by her office but completely forgot about it after the truck broke down.”


“Don’t worry, take the two I have in the backseat.  Harold said I could order anything I wanted so I ordered those.  Please, take them.”


“I feel that saying thank you isn’t enough for your kindness today.  Maybe I can repay you for all you’ve done on a Saturday in the near future.  Just a friendly lunch, that’s all.  I’ll be the perfect gentleman.”


Mya didn’t doubt that hew as telling the truth.


“As tempting as that sounds I’m going to have to pass.”


“Well, you have my card if you change your mind.”  Jonas snatched the bottles from the backseat and closed the door.  He secured the wine under his armpits, quickly put his hands back inside his pockets and began to walk away.


Out of curiosity Mya rolled down the window and yelled out to Jonas.  “Hey, you wouldn’t happen to know which office belongs to Ashley Williams Realty would you?”


“Of course.  She’s the major tenant here.  She has an entire floor with an office and an apartment, Suite 219.”

Cornbread Pimp – Flash Fiction Tuesday

I hope everyone has a happy and blessed Thanksgiving next week!!!

You Gon' Eat Yo Cornbread...

Every Thanksgiving, our family has a soul food gathering at Aunt Bertha’s house. While the men watch football, we women congregate in the kitchen and gossip about fake church ladies, bad weaves and whose house is about to be foreclosed on. My sister Junie, the oldest of the Maple sisters, has the job of checking the paper for foreclosures before she comes. After much laughter and much wine, we eventually get around to cooking. For the most part, our holidays are pretty normal until we bring up cornbread.

Every year, for about eight years, we’ve tried to find a nice way to tell our baby sister, Darla, that we’re disgusted by her cornbread. If it were good there wouldn’t be an issue but the stuff is so bad that “Can’t Get Right” could have used it for batting practice in the movie Life. Because Daddy told her she made the best cornbread, Darla has been pushing all kinds of concoctions like cornbread pudding and barbecue cornbread down our throats. She thinks she’s Mavis Stewart, Martha Stewart’s lost black cousin, but her cooking is terrible.

“What are you doing?” Darla watched Junie remove a hot pan of cornbread from the oven. I braced for the fallout.

“Making cornbread.”

“You know Daddy likes my cornbread best.”

“Darla, eating your cornbread is like sopping pintos with cardboard. Sorry, but somebody had to tell you.”

“Liar! Let’s see what Daddy says.”

After a few minutes we sat down to eat.

“Daddy, you love cornbread. Try some.”

Daddy had that oh damn look on his face. Without a word, he bit into a piece and his face lit up.

“I’m glad you finally learned to make good cornbread baby girl. Lord knows I didn’t think it would take this long.”

Junie only gloated a little.

Weed Out the Losers… (Flash Fiction Tuesday)

You Jam Right!!!

Josephine was known as the Blackberry Queen of Monroe County. She could make a rotten muscadine taste good. The Piggly Wiggly couldn’t keep white bread on the shelves after canning season. And it wasn’t uncommon to see a grown man licking an empty jar of Josephine’s Jam. The whole town craved it like a pregnant woman craved pickles. Lizzy made some pretty good jam too, but it didn’t have people fighting on aisle 5 like Josephine’s did.

When Josephine suddenly passed away, naturally, Lizzy thought she’d be the next Queen. She even designed new labels for her jars. But just like that, the town’s appetite for jam fizzled and Lizzy’s jars were left to collect dust. Even in death, Josephine’s jam had beaten hers so she just stopped making it.

“Grandmama, why can’t we just make blackberry juice?”

Lizzy looked at her granddaughter. She wore tube socks as gloves and her overalls were covered in turpentine to keep the snakes away. She was teaching little Rosie the fine art of blackberry picking.

“There’s apple, pineapple and orange, but no blackberry juice”, Rosie explained.

“Child, nobody wants blackberry juice. It’s too bitter.”

“I bet you could make it sweet Grandmama. Then everyone will buy it and you can get your hero back.”

“That’s mojo, and stop listening when your Mama’s on the phone.”

With their bucket half filled, they walked past Josephine’s house and headed home. Policemen were carrying shovels and news crews were everywhere.

“Its just jam, people! Surely she didn’t hide her recipe in the yard!”

The crowd rushed over to her. She dreaded having to say more nice things about Josephine on TV.

“What do you think about the news”, a reporter asked.

Lizzy looked confused.

“You haven’t heard? Josephine’s Jam is laced with marijuana.”

Lizzy smiled.

Love & Death…

Happy Flash Fiction Tuesday! Enjoy the latest 300 word story! Feel free to leave comments…

“Brothers and Sisters, Deacon Rudolph paid rent on earth to secure his room in heaven. We should be rejoicing with the angels! Hallelujah!”

Pastor Allen really knew how to send a soul home. It didn’t matter if it belonged to a devoted Christian or a Saturday night sinner. In the deacon’s case everyone knew the soul was both. Even still, the Pastor’s eulogy had Sister Maylene doing the roach-stomp, mosquito-swat, can’t hold my mule shout for nearly twenty minutes. Ebenezer Baptist didn’t have enough fans or ushers to console her. The pastor hooped and Maylene hollered. Mourner’s tears rolled down her cheeks and her funeral hat wouldn’t stay on. She pranced down the aisle like she was letting Deacon know she had nothing to do with that god awful purple suit he was wearing. Thank goodness she didn’t get inside the casket.

“Lord, what I’m gon’ do”, were the only words Maylene said under her breath.

Everything else was loud, so loud that Sister Henrietta kept cutting her eyes at her. But Henrietta’s red hot stares did little to deter Maylene from feeling the spirit. Before Maylene could pass out from exhaustion, Henrietta motioned to Pastor Rudolph that she was ready.

“Now, we’ll have a moment of reflection from our dear Sister Henrietta. Church, this woman has the strength of David. Let’s praise Jesus as she comes.”

Sister Henrietta was a dignified Christian and the congregation adored her. She was the church’s ultimate Mother, even above First Lady Rudolph, so when she walked towards Maylene and gave her a long embrace nobody was surprised.

Everyone strained to hear Henrietta’s comforting words to Maylene.

“We shared him in life but he’s mine in death. Sit your tail down while I speak about my husband.”

Maylene was noticeably absent at the burial.

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