Home > Flash Fiction > Cornbread Pimp – Flash Fiction Tuesday

Cornbread Pimp – Flash Fiction Tuesday

I hope everyone has a happy and blessed Thanksgiving next week!!!

You Gon' Eat Yo Cornbread...

Every Thanksgiving, our family has a soul food gathering at Aunt Bertha’s house. While the men watch football, we women congregate in the kitchen and gossip about fake church ladies, bad weaves and whose house is about to be foreclosed on. My sister Junie, the oldest of the Maple sisters, has the job of checking the paper for foreclosures before she comes. After much laughter and much wine, we eventually get around to cooking. For the most part, our holidays are pretty normal until we bring up cornbread.

Every year, for about eight years, we’ve tried to find a nice way to tell our baby sister, Darla, that we’re disgusted by her cornbread. If it were good there wouldn’t be an issue but the stuff is so bad that “Can’t Get Right” could have used it for batting practice in the movie Life. Because Daddy told her she made the best cornbread, Darla has been pushing all kinds of concoctions like cornbread pudding and barbecue cornbread down our throats. She thinks she’s Mavis Stewart, Martha Stewart’s lost black cousin, but her cooking is terrible.

“What are you doing?” Darla watched Junie remove a hot pan of cornbread from the oven. I braced for the fallout.

“Making cornbread.”

“You know Daddy likes my cornbread best.”

“Darla, eating your cornbread is like sopping pintos with cardboard. Sorry, but somebody had to tell you.”

“Liar! Let’s see what Daddy says.”

After a few minutes we sat down to eat.

“Daddy, you love cornbread. Try some.”

Daddy had that oh damn look on his face. Without a word, he bit into a piece and his face lit up.

“I’m glad you finally learned to make good cornbread baby girl. Lord knows I didn’t think it would take this long.”

Junie only gloated a little.

  1. November 16, 2011 at 12:31 AM

    I liked it. Simple. To the point. The characters were real… maybe because we all know them.

    Good work once again. Step out of your bounds just once though. Do something totally out of the ordinary for you. I know you can do it and do it well… I just wanna see it 😉

    • November 16, 2011 at 10:34 AM

      Hey Casey! True, I think everyone can relate. As soon as we see that a certain person made a dish we won’t eat it 🙂

      Any ideas on a story you would like to read (genre, plot, character??) I love a challenge and I’m always open to suggestions!

      Thanks for reading and commenting!

  2. Katina
    November 16, 2011 at 12:48 AM

    Lol…..that sounds like my sister Varion. oh snap! I forgot she is your friend too! Hee! Hee!

    • November 16, 2011 at 10:38 AM

      I hope Varion is like Junie and not Darla or I feel for you on Thanksgiving LOL!

      Thanks for stopping by!

  3. November 16, 2011 at 8:07 AM

    what you know about that cracklin’ cornbread? 🙂 Daddy know he was wrong for making everybody suffer by telling Darla her cornbread was good…lol You better just go mix up some Jiffy and call it a day. 🙂

    • November 16, 2011 at 10:37 AM

      LOL! I don’t know if I’ve ever had cracklin’ bread. Is that the bread with a bunch of stuff in it?? Daddy was trying to boost his baby’s self esteem 🙂 I’m a Jiffy girl! Thanks for reading!

  4. ChiefRocka
    November 16, 2011 at 9:37 AM

    Sometimes the truth hurts…lol 😉

  5. November 16, 2011 at 10:24 AM

    Too cute! :))

  6. Fredro Star
    November 16, 2011 at 10:43 AM

    LOL….Good one.. Wish i could see the Facial Expression on Darla Face after Dad confess the truth…

    • November 16, 2011 at 10:48 AM

      I know right! She probably went home and threw away all her cornmeal! 😀 Thanks for reading!

  7. Morgan
    November 16, 2011 at 6:17 PM

    Straight to the point like Junie! Lol, I liked it:-)

  8. Rober Beamon
    December 10, 2011 at 12:07 AM

    They are all good but i really loved this one

    • December 10, 2011 at 4:38 PM

      I”m glad you enjoyed this one! Thanks for stopping by and reading! Feel free to leave comments anytime 🙂

  9. December 21, 2011 at 7:22 AM

    (EWK) Excellent Work Kimeko!

    • December 21, 2011 at 11:25 AM

      Hey! Thanks for stopping by and reading! I think you have some catching up to do 🙂

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