Home > Flash Fiction > Weed Out the Losers… (Flash Fiction Tuesday)

Weed Out the Losers… (Flash Fiction Tuesday)

You Jam Right!!!

Josephine was known as the Blackberry Queen of Monroe County. She could make a rotten muscadine taste good. The Piggly Wiggly couldn’t keep white bread on the shelves after canning season. And it wasn’t uncommon to see a grown man licking an empty jar of Josephine’s Jam. The whole town craved it like a pregnant woman craved pickles. Lizzy made some pretty good jam too, but it didn’t have people fighting on aisle 5 like Josephine’s did.

When Josephine suddenly passed away, naturally, Lizzy thought she’d be the next Queen. She even designed new labels for her jars. But just like that, the town’s appetite for jam fizzled and Lizzy’s jars were left to collect dust. Even in death, Josephine’s jam had beaten hers so she just stopped making it.

“Grandmama, why can’t we just make blackberry juice?”

Lizzy looked at her granddaughter. She wore tube socks as gloves and her overalls were covered in turpentine to keep the snakes away. She was teaching little Rosie the fine art of blackberry picking.

“There’s apple, pineapple and orange, but no blackberry juice”, Rosie explained.

“Child, nobody wants blackberry juice. It’s too bitter.”

“I bet you could make it sweet Grandmama. Then everyone will buy it and you can get your hero back.”

“That’s mojo, and stop listening when your Mama’s on the phone.”

With their bucket half filled, they walked past Josephine’s house and headed home. Policemen were carrying shovels and news crews were everywhere.

“Its just jam, people! Surely she didn’t hide her recipe in the yard!”

The crowd rushed over to her. She dreaded having to say more nice things about Josephine on TV.

“What do you think about the news”, a reporter asked.

Lizzy looked confused.

“You haven’t heard? Josephine’s Jam is laced with marijuana.”

Lizzy smiled.

  1. November 2, 2011 at 8:29 AM

    I love the pun you used in the title of this flash fiction story. Josephine knew the key to repeat business was to literally get them hooked on your product 🙂 Once again a great read by ChUC!

  2. #1ChiefRocka
    November 2, 2011 at 9:49 AM

    I see Josephine was good friends with “Mary Jane.” 🙂

  3. SnugglesTU
    November 2, 2011 at 10:15 AM

    As usual, I didn’t know where it was going and was pleasantly surprised. That was a good one!

    • November 2, 2011 at 11:34 AM

      Thanks for reading! I’m glad you didn’t get too much of a hint from the title 🙂

  4. Nakia Underwood
    November 2, 2011 at 11:44 AM

    Haha! Like the twist!

  5. George E West Sr.
    November 2, 2011 at 3:38 PM

    One of nature’s best kept secrets. Marijuana saved this country and the world back in the late 60s and early 70s. It’s to bad that it has been diluted with all kinds of life threating junk.
    I’m just saying…GW

    • November 2, 2011 at 5:04 PM

      George, I know I wouldn’t trust any backdoor pharmacists 🙂 Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed the story.

  6. sando
    November 2, 2011 at 8:43 PM

    I need a couple jars of that Josephine Jam please…if there’s any left LOL. Great story and well written, as usual!

    • November 3, 2011 at 12:41 PM

      haha! You know the town ate every ounce of Jam and everything else in sight 🙂 Thanks for the continued support!!

  7. December 13, 2011 at 12:21 PM

    Just discovered your blog. Love this stories and the others. Keep on constructin’! 🙂

    • December 14, 2011 at 12:28 AM

      Thanks Teresa! I’m sure you know that writers love feedback. Well, this one does anyway lol! I’m glad you stumbled upon the blog. 🙂

  8. Anthony (Big Ant)
    December 22, 2011 at 2:00 PM

    I had no idea what flash fiction Tuesday was but I finally clicked on it and what to my surprise? A great lil story! I like lil stories and I enjoyed that. It makes me wanna read more of your stuff. very good! I’ll continue to read more!

    • December 22, 2011 at 2:52 PM

      Hey! I’m happy you finally decided to click on one 🙂 I’m even happier that you liked it LOL! I’ve posted about 20 flash fiction stories so click away at your convenience and catch up. When you’re really feeling adventurous check out the flash fiction series “Eye Water to Cry With”. It’s basically a longer story broken into short weekly chapters. Thanks for stopping by and reading!

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