Home > Flash Fiction > The Visit

The Visit


“Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Sponge Bob Squarepants!”

“Mom, I’m tired of singing that song.”

Michael could barely keep his eyes open in the backseat. “Are we there yet”, he asked for the 50th time.

“Not yet, finish your milkshake.”

Sheretta looked in the rearview mirror to get a glimpse of her son. The beam of light from the helicopter flying overhead framed his milk stained face. The last five years had been filled with a lifetime’s worth of heartache. Michael was her only reason for getting out of bed most mornings.

She exhaled, “You look just like Peter”.

The thought of her son growing up to be anything like his father made Sheretta clinch the steering wheel until her palms ached from the stab of her fingernails. She pushed the pedal to the floor hoping to move ahead of the helicopter’s glare.

“So, what is Mommy going to call you now?”

“Uhmmm, I don’t know.”

“We’ve gone over that repeatedly.” Sheretta slapped her hand against the dashboard. “I need you to know this.”

“I want my Daddy”, Michael moaned. “I wanna go home.”

“We’re going camping remember.”

“You’re a liar.”

“What! Did Peter teach you to say that?”

Fuming, Sheretta picked up her phone. The tires of the SUV screeched as she sped along the winding road into the mountains.

“Peter, you bastard! How dare you turn my own son against me? I won’t let you take him. Call off the helicopter or I swear….”

“Daddy”, Michael screamed.

He hurled his milkshake into the windshield. Sheretta jerked the wheel and slammed into a guard rail. The vehicle came to rest after the third flip and she saw her son’s face by the light of the helicopter.

“Oh, God no!! Michael, open your eyes for Mommy, please!”

  1. June 14, 2011 at 6:24 PM

    Oh my my my!!! You never cease to amaze me. I am actually Speechless on this one. BRAVO, ChUC!!!

  2. June 14, 2011 at 6:27 PM

    Wow! I happened upon you via Tag Surfer and this stopped me in my tracks. Powerful stuff. Looking forward to reading more.

    • June 14, 2011 at 6:34 PM

      Thanks! I’m so glad you happened to find the story. That’s so cool! 🙂 Feel free to browse through the flash fiction and let me know what you think. I post them every other Tuesday.

  3. Sando
    June 15, 2011 at 12:27 AM

    Thanks ChUC!
    Beautifully written as usual. That felt like a deep breath of fresh air after being trapped in a hot stuffy room! Loving Flash Fiction ChUC! Well, back to my stuffy room now. Bless!

    • June 15, 2011 at 10:15 AM

      Thanks for reading! I’m glad it took you away from your stuffy room, if only for a few minutes 🙂 Stop back by in two weeks!

  4. BFE
    June 15, 2011 at 9:22 AM

    Oh wow…sad ending! Great story though!

  5. Morgan
    June 15, 2011 at 3:06 PM


  6. June 16, 2011 at 2:56 PM

    Very detailed and eye catching. I was in suspense throughout the whole story!

    • June 16, 2011 at 6:27 PM

      I’m glad you enjoyed it and thanks for leaving a comment! 🙂

      • James D. Bell
        June 24, 2011 at 12:31 PM

        Well u have did it again I enjoyed it

      • June 25, 2011 at 6:23 PM

        I’m glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading and thanks for the support 🙂 Be blessed!

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